People joke about experiencing midlife crisis, but for many it’s not funny at all. In fact, it is a serious period in life when values and purpose are questioned. This crisis is also a reaction to the feeling that time is going by way too quickly and life has trapped you in a progression towards old age. This feeling of being trapped is often expressed through acts intended to make a person feel younger.
Some of these acts are benign and harm no one. For example a man buys his first convertible at age 50 after trading in his reliable hardtop Chevrolet. His wife hates the sports car because it’s too hard to get in and out of it, but he keeps in anyway. Other midlife crisis acts are not so harmless. There are thousands of marriages which have ended after decades because one spouse decided to have an affair with someone younger.
Humans have a greater sense of time with each passing day. It seems to go by faster and faster. When a midlife crisis hits, men and women look at what they have accomplished and compare the accomplishments to goals set in their younger years. When the twain does not meet the result is dissatisfaction with life in general and a sense of urgency to do something about it.
Unfortunately many people who go through a midlife crisis feel trapped in their marriages. There is a reason for that. The husband or wife looks at their spouse and sees someone they have been married to for many years. There is a routine established and plenty of compromises have been made along the way. It’s too easy to blame the spouse for holding you back over the years from being able to reach your dreams. She wouldn’t let you take that job you wanted or he stopped you from taking that trip you really hoped to take.
Now you are in your mid years and it’s easy to feel as if there is a limited amount of time left to pursue your goals. Another issue people face during a midlife crisis is the feeling they have just a few years left before they will be considered “old”. So it’s time to prove there’s still a lot of life left in the middle aged person and the man or woman tries by doing more youthful things.
The fact is that the midlife years can be some of the best years of your lives. During this time the marriage can be strengthened even more by sharing a time of life when you can look at your accomplishments and take pride in what the years have brought. It is also a time for many people when they can begin to have some of the fun they couldn’t have while the kids were young. Now the children are grown and gone and you and your husband can do what you want to do for a change.
During midlife you can also enjoy a vibrant and glorious sex life. Despite the beliefs of much younger people, middle aged adults still feel desire and physical need. The sexual relations can be outstanding because many of the worries that interfered while pursuing careers and raising children are now gone. Older people are more self-assured and comfortable with their bodies.
It is too bad that so many people look outside the marriage to deal with a midlife crisis. Withdrawing from your spouse is a sure way to become miserable in your marriage and maybe end up divorced. A spouse who suddenly tries to act much younger can also inflict emotional pain on their husband or wife. It is as if the spouse is telling you that you are the one who is “too old” and burdensome.
Plenty of Time
Having a midlife crisis is normal, but how you respond is what makes the difference between maintaining a healthy marriage or divorce. In some cases the crisis can be extremely traumatic. Having an affair or suddenly spending saved money on a frivolous asset can cause martial trauma. If your spouse acts irrationally in a harmful manner it’s important to sit down and discuss what is going on so you can respond appropriately.
The midlife years should be fun! Time does pass quickly, but there’s plenty of life left to live after the middle ages. If you feel as if you have not accomplished what you want in life you can now find activities to do that bring you more satisfaction.