When you remarry there is always the belief the second time around will result in a much more successful marriage. You hopefully learned a lot about yourself and marriage as a result of being married once already. A man was once overheard saying that he believed the first divorce was her fault, but the second would be his responsibility. What he was saying was that he should have learned a lot from his first marriage failure and not repeated his mistakes in the second. That is the whole truth in a nutshell!tn pas cher
Banishing the Ghosts
If you have been married before then you most likely have some issues to resolve within yourself. If you are at complete peace about your prior marriage then all the more power to you. But most people who have been previously married like to talk about the problems and mistakes related to that marriage. They also bring some insecurities and fears into the second marriage.tn pas cher
Having an ex-spouse is like having a ghost in your life. That ghost will never go away because you are the sum of your experiences. But you must learn to deal with that ghost as a memory and not let it interfere in your current life as an ongoing problem. Anyone who is divorced tends to blame the majority of problems on the other spouse, but in reality both husband and wife are to blame when a marriage fails. Just like it takes two to make a loving relationship, it takes two to ruin the marriage.
That is the source of the insecurities and fears. Every marriage is different and every divorce happens for a different reason. It is important to use the information and experience you gained from your first marriage to make your second marriage a good relationship. You donít want to repeat the same mistakes again.
Banishing ghosts from the past is not always easy. It takes a lot of introspection and self-honesty. You have to identify what role you played in the failed first marriage and then make sure you donít repeat those same behaviors. On the other hand, the person you are married to right now is an entirely different person. You donít want to make the new mistake of treating him or her as if they will act like your first spouse. It can be extremely destructive to a second marriage to assume a second spouse will be a carbon copy in some way of the first spouse.
The ghost of your first marriage may take several forms. You may carry emotional baggage as discussed. But most people who have been married before also bring either children or other issues like alimony to the second marriage. It takes a lot of understanding and patience to blend families or not get angry over making alimony payments every month to your ex-spouse or the ex-spouse of your current husband or wife. What you have to do is sit down with your new spouse and discuss the issues that affect the marriage in any way. Just like any problem or issue in marriage, keeping the lines of communication open is critical.
One of the most productive steps you can take to build a second successful marriage is to begin creating new memories and traditions right away. Your new spouse is as anxious as you to build a solid relationship, so handling your second marriage with love and understanding is important. You donít want to leave the gifts from your first wedding out and then talk about how wonderful and expensive they are for example. You want to display only the gifts from your second wedding. Small considerations can make big differences.
Creating new images for your new marriage is not hard. For example, you can create a brand new holiday tradition your very first holiday together. Or you can choose a special hotel or restaurant and you call it your secret spot. It doesnít really matter what you do as long as you make these new traditions completely different from any practiced in the first marriage.
Getting It Right This Time
Taking the plunge into a second marriage is daring. It is easy to shy away from marriage when you have been through a tough divorce. Yet the person you chose to marry was special enough to you to take a chance on a second marriage. If you rely on this love and always be sensitive to issues related to first marriages, your second marriage can be stronger in every way.